a prelude to…

last year

on my first new year’s eve in San Francisco.

I was alone and wanted to stay that way. I go to shows by myself all the time. however, I didn’t feel the need to go spend $100++ on NYE to see a show and watch people love each other at midnight on while I stood there an obvious observer.

nope, couldn’t deal with that.

so while the flaming lips, Primus and Danny Carey were rocking out a few miles away without me….

I thought to myself…

…i’m gonna go to haight street tonight, make some random friends and take some street photos, people should be extra fun…

and so, i went out and stopped off the last exit before the gg bridge to shoot it.

and the moon too.

then I hit the streets. Got the moon on haight, ameoba’s neons and I went to click a frame at the Red Victorian Hotel and my shutter got stuck halfway open.

and it had just gotten dark.

I closed up the viewfinder. And in disbelief, started walking down Haight back towards my car when someone asked me how I was as I passed.

I smiled, lied and said “fine! thanks, how are you?” and kept on walking towards my car –

but no, i was not fine! my bad ass camera had just abruptly stuck open

and even though i knew i could get it fixed, it still upset me so that I finally had gone out, brave with the camera aimed at the people. Ready to do that whole thing, the thing i’m scared of. Street shots, shooting at the unknowing and maybe getting caught. I’m always afraid of that, people noticing. Cause thats a serious invasion of privacy.

and then nope. not today.

so I stopped, turned around, ran back, leaned up on the concrete next to him and told dude, “you know what, I am not fine! I am pissed, my camera JUST broke” as i’m looking straight ahead at these punk kids and their puppy hanging out in front of this exuberant neon pizza sign we were now leaning under, thinking how this is EXACTLY what i wanted to take photos of tonight. but that was no longer going to happen. I had come all this way, I wasn’t going to just leave the city? nope!

So instead of taking photos, I hung out with Jared, Friday, his dog (who loved me), and his friends.

We drank whiskey and smoked pot on the sidewalk, playing the guitar, singing songs, eating Thai noodles and harassing passers by. You know, stuff punk kids do on the street. The whole time taking photos with my mind, such beautiful lighting and wonderful subjects. Full of life, youth and revolt and adventure. I recorded the audible on my ZOOM recorder. I felt like i was 14 again, when i embraced not giving a fuck about what people think, the velvet underground and patti smith and all that entails.

The about to break camera is apparent in the first couple of frames, casting a dark line through the image, but it doesn’t bother me so much. I couldn’t not post them because of it, considering they were appropriately exposed 🙂